Monday, September 29, 2003

Be active, be brave and belay

We've had a great time in Halls Gap. Lots of walking and exploring The Grampians (the area we're in), and the weather's improved greatly. Saturday afternoon was really sunny, as was the whole of Sunday.

Just as well, for on Sunday I spent a lot of cash and went rock climbing and abseiling. Yikes! As I said a month or so ago when I climbed a big big tree, I'm not great with heights. I like standing at the top of a cliff surveying all I can survey, but I'm not so good when I'm hanging over the edge of said cliff, looking down. I'd never been rock climbing, and had only abseiled once (down a tower block at uni - I was a little bit terrified), so I was really pushing myself.

I was picked up and taken to Hollow Mountain, a way away from Halls Gap. There were four other people with me, plus Nick, the instructor. Most had tried a bit of climbing before, but none were very advanced. We spent the morning learning techniques. This mostly involved learning how to tie knots and "belay". When someone is climbing, another person can belay, that is stand at the bottom holding a rope which passes through a loop at the top and then is tied to the climber. By keeping tension on the rope the person at the bottom can ensure that if the climber slips he only falls a few feet.

That done, we started climbing some fairly easy climbs. It was great fun! I love scrabbling up rocks and my long arms and legs made it fairly easy for me. Once at the top, after a look around, I had to lean back in the harness and let my belayer lower me gradually as I kind of abseiled down. This initial leaning back took some effort. It takes trust in your knots, the fitting at the top of the cliff, and your belayer. After three climbs, however, I was quite comfortable. I was handling the heights quite well, but then it wasn't that high. I was just like Sylvester Stallone in Cliffhanger.

We had lunch on the top of a mountain, with spectacular views. I had a king-size Snickers! I'd never had one before, but had used the "I'll need the energy" excuse to convince Anne to let me have one. In the end I decided that a normal Snickers is probably sufficient. Oh well, I tried.

After lunch we did harder climbs. Climbs in Australia are rated from 1 to 34 and I attempted a 16. (I didn't know it was a 16 until afterwards - I probably would have chickened out if I'd known at the start!) It was very hard - especially at the top. My fingers were killing me, as I tried harder and harder to find somewhere to plant them. They've never done so much work in my life! I was just like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2.

Once I'd got to the top (after a lot of pauses where I thought progress wasn't possible) I had a quick look around and realised it was too high for me (the climb was about 25 meters, but the view went further down). People at the bottom asked if I wanted some time to "take everything in". "Er, no", I squeaked, "Bring me down!" They did and I kissed the floor when I reached it. Phew!

Next was a big abseil over a cliff with an overhang. The initial step over the edge was scary, and the overhang meant that there was nowhere to put my legs after a while, so I just hung and lowered myself. I was just like Chris O'Donnel in, er, Vertical Limit (I'm fast running out of mountain climbing films). I was fine when I was looking at the cliff, but then I started rotating and could see the amazing view. I confess I closed my eyes for a bit!

What a day! I felt just like Clint Eastwood in The Eiger Sanction. I loved the climbing. I don't think I could get really into rock climbing, though might do if there was a version where the rocks were just at a steep angle, rather than vertical. I don't suppose that would be the same though.

I got back to the hostel to find that Anne had borrowed a bike and been for a cycle around Halls Gap. Having not been on a bike for 14 years (the last time she did she fell into a ditch!) this was very brave of her, and put my feats into the shadows. Thanks Anne - steal my thunder.

Friday, September 26, 2003

Every day is Boxing Day

Well, we're exhausted! This morning Anne and I went on a 10km trek up and down a mountain. Phew! I played Frodo Kent-Taylor and Anne was Anne-wise Gamgee. We didn't have a Gollum. We treked and treked and saw some great scenery. However, it started raining, and Anne-wise and I looked for a Hobbit hole in which to hide. We found one, but a couple were already hiding there (for the purposes of this reconstruction, we'll call them Aussie Guy and Aussie Girl). We found another hole/cave nearby, and hid there, waiting for the rain to ease. As we waited we heard the other couple coming past our hole.
Aussie Girl: I'm Smeagol!
Aussie Guy: Go on then, lead the way Gollum.
I don't know who the guy was playing. Erm, Faramir?

Moral: Never assume that everyone else is any less immature than you.

Anyway, we carried on in both rain AND shine down a "Grand Canyon" (not THE Grand Canyon) and up to the top ("Pinnacle"), which I dubbed Mount Doom, with just some lembas and a Twix to sustain us. The scenery was fantastic and it was a very rewarding climb. It was quite busy, and there were even some small children about. This made our energetic feat seem less impressive. Mordor was never this busy in my day.

We saw lots of wildlife too:
Anne: Ooh, ooh, a roo!
Stephen: Actually, I think that's a rock wallaby.
A: Well, it was quicker to say "ooh, ooh, a roo", and it rhymed.
S: Perhaps next time you should say, "Ollaby, Ollaby, a rock wallaby"?
A: Shut up.

Since we've started hiking, we've noticed that every day is like Boxing Day for hikers. Normally, the only time people say "Hi" to each other when they pass is when they're out for a walk on Boxing Day, after too much turkey. When you're hiking you're obliged to acknowledge everyone you pass. It can be quite tiring. And then sometimes someone ignores you. I hate those people. Don't they understand the Boxing Day/Hiking rules? Ooh - Boxing Day proper is three months away!

We returned to the hostel for lunch, and sat by the fire for two whole hours. Shattered. After that we thought we really ought to get outside, and walked a further 10km about the town and out to various attractions. After 7km I really started to feel it, and nearly collapsed. Weak me.

Big fat book
On a completely different subject, I finshed reading The Lord of the Rings last night. I'd always thought I ought to read it, and I have time to read on my travels, so really I read it because I felt obliged. I liked much of it, but some of it bored me. I ignored the many appendices - I don't care what Sam called his kids. If it's not important enough to be IN the book then it's not worth my time.

You've got to be impressed, however, by the huge, detailed world Tolkein created. Glad I've finished it though. Am now reading Bill Bryson's Down Under, which I've read before. I needed something light and fun.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Mine - all mine!

We've just spent two nights in Ballarat - a town famous for gold mining. In the 1850s gold was discovered and a rush ensued. We stayed in a hostel on the grounds of Soverign Hill "museum". This is one of the "living museums" where staff are dressed in period costume and pretend they're living in the past. There were recreations of various parts of Ballarat's history, and I was a little dubious about going. I have to say that it was nicely done, and a lot of fun going there. We did a tour of a gold mine, which was entertaining, informative and professional, and ended with a ride on a train. Whilst not as much like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom as I'd hoped, the ride was a fun end to the tour.

There was a young girl staying in the small hostel with us. We chatted with her a little on the first night but she was quite shy. We didn't realise she was working there (work experience) and I nearly spat my coffee out the next morning when she came out of the bathroom in full period costume. I tried hard not to laugh, but it was a very funny sight.

Today we came to Hall's Gap (Helm's Deep) on two coaches - a bit of hassle. It's been worth it though since on a short walk to a waterfall we saw an echidna (porcupine-type thing, endorsed by Prince Harry) and a wallaby. Yay! Never get bored of the Aussie wildlife.

(NB all blog-posting times now in GMT. This was to try to sort out a problem with the archives. Posts from the 1st of the month weren't appearing on the archives. July 1st is now sorted at least, so I'm hoping others will be.)

Monday, September 22, 2003

Lolly (sweet) shop musings

Whilst looking in the lolly (sweet) shop yesterday, on our Neighbours Tour, I realised that such a shop can now only be a disappointment. Sure, in the past one might have been excited to enter, thinking that perhaps one might find a sweet (lolly) more tasty than one had already tasted.

Not now though. Not since the invention of The Chunky Kit Kat - surely the final culmination of years and years of chocolate advances. Perfection has been found - where can the chocolate and sweet industry go from here? Nowhere. They can't advance any further.

Perhaps Rowntree should try their hand at other industries. Car making, or curing diseases? Their track record in sweets has shown them to be the best. The thickness of the chocolate surrounding the wafer on the "Chunky" is just ideal, and cannot be bettered.

Note that we're not including the Toblerone in this comparison. They're not everyday sweets. They're airport-gift food. You'd no more go into a shop to buy a Toblerone to eat than you would an Easter Egg.

What's quite sad is that, having "won" the chocolate wars, Rowntree are floundering. They've brought out the White Chocolate Chunky Kit Kat (at least in Oz) and one with caramel in it. NO! STOP! You can go no further, haven't you been reading what I've written??

Whoever decided to ruin a perfectly good Kit Kat with caramel should be shot, or at least given a stern dressing down.

We're leaving Melbourne (where we have limited free internet access) today, so my posts may become more economical and relevant from now on. You hope.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

St Kilda

Another lovely sunny day, and we went to the sea-side. We took a tram to St Kilda, where TV's The Secret Life Of Us is set. We've never watched the show, but keep hearing about it. ("Secret Life" they call it. Very natty.)

After a walk along the sea-front, we took a look at the Sunday craft market. I think Anne would have bought some stuff if it weren't for lack of funds and lack of room for a big "blanket box".

It's a trendy suburb, with German influences, and it's these influences which are, apparently, responsible for the brilliant cake shops there. We spent some time looking in the windows of these shops and dribbling. Mmmm.

We didn't buy any though. We had a walk around Luna Park, the quaint old fairground, where we were shocked (as ever) to see twelve year old girls walking around dressed like 18 year-old slappers. I don't think they were slappers, I think it's just a sad sign of the sexualisation of pre-teens for which MTV must take some blame. No daughter of mine will ever go out dressed like THAT. Not while she's living under MY roof!

We had a burger lunch. "But wait", I hear you cry, "you've just read Fast Food Nation - surely you're sworn off burgers?" Well this was at a nice little independent place which seemed to be the anti-McDonalds. We gave them our custom to show our support. It was good stuff!

A film to finish a good day
As the afternoon grew old, to the cinema we went. We watched The Rage In Placid Lake, an Aussie film. Placid Lake is a boy with "alternative" parents, and after a epiphany he rebels, and goes to work in insurance. It was really funny in places, and a good film overall. Lots to recommend in it, though not a classic as a whole. Three and a half stars.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

"Fix your hair. You look like Cherie Blair."

A freind sent me a link to a great site. The guy who runs this site listens to people talking on the London Underground, and jots down choice quotes. It's called The Man Who Fell Asleep.

Very funny - makes me sad to leave London!

Big decision

Apart from wanting to see the world, we also left our jobs and came away to take time out to think about what we wanted to do with our lives. And we've not been (all that) idle. We've made the decision to move out of London when we return!

The tenants in our flat in Ealing asked whether they'd have to move out in February, and we said they wouldn't. Decision made - simple! It shocked us a bit to actually make it "official" rather than just an idea we were throwing around. We wish we'd known we wouldn't be returning when we left the flat, as we might have made the most of it. We'd just got it the way we wanted it, after three years living there.

Now all we have to do is figure out what we are going to do and where we are going to live. We want to stay close (an hour say) to London. We're thinking perhaps Cambridge? That could change. Perhaps I should put it to a blog vote? That way our lives can be mapped out by people searching for nudie pics of Delta Goodrem.

Why not leave a comment to tell us where to go?

Detail of two cities

Sydney and Melbourne are rivals for the title of Most Bestest City In Australia. We've seen a lot of this rivalry on our travels. Newspaper articles often talk about which is, say, the most cultural of the two, and use odd measurements (e.g. How many people saw Russian Ark in each city).

Sydney is undoubtedly prettier, and the harbour is hard to beat with the brilliant opera house. Melbourne isn't much to look at (referred to as "The Wallflower" in some articles) but many prefer it. I think we're biased towards Sydney, having spent three months working and living there. The weather's not been great while we've been here in Melbourne, so that doesn't help. Today (Saturday) has been great though, and we've spent the morning visiting the lovely Botanical Gardens, where we sat and read the paper. We then treated ourselves to a baked potato lunch in a food court on the south bank of the Yarra river.

We're basing ourselves here for a bit. On Tuesday we're off for a week to Ballarat (gold-mining town) and Halls Gap (nature-walk mountain town, which I hilariously call Helm's Deep), then back to Melbourne. Then we're planning another few days away before returning to Melbourne to start the final leg to Sydney (via Canberra). Because the end is in sight, we're starting to plan New Zealand (where we'll spend two months). Yay!

Big Splendor

We saw American Splendor at the flicks on Wednesday night. This film about underground cartoonist Harvey Pekar is really interesting, both in content and presentation. Paul Giamatti (also good in Man on the Moon) is great as the main character, and the real Harvey Pekar also pops up in interview segments. Four stars - recommended.

As for the American Splendor comics, I struggle to see the attraction. I mean, who'd want to read about a normal guy's life, what he does day-to-day and what he and his partner row about, interspersed with a few arts reviews?

I mean, who'd read that?

Do you see what I'm getting at here?

I'm drawing a comparison between the underground comic movement and blogs.

And I'm then failing to expand on the comparison or analyse it any further.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Our father, who art in light-entertainment...

A really really really odd thing happened to me on Wednesday morning. I never sleep well when I've been drinking, and following our quiz over-indulgences on Tuesday evening I was awake early, and eventually got up to read in the hostel common-room at about 7.30am.

I'd not looked round the hostel properly, so once I'd made a coffee I wandered into the reading area which has a bookshelf containing books left behind by travellers. Looking through the books I was surprised to see a book I've read on my travels: Nicholas Parsons's autobiography, The Straight Man. I bought this for $2 in Hervey Bay in June, and sold it in Airlie Beach later that month, also for $2. I picked up the copy I found in the hostel and opened the cover. I realised it was THE SAME COPY I read! It had a stamp from the Hervey Bay bookshop, and one from the Airlie Beach bookshop! Someone had paid $7.70 for it in Airlie Beach, and then the book had found its way to the Greenhouse Backpackers in Melbourne. What are the chances? I'm reading the second Lord Of The Rings book at the moment, and it occurs to me that like the One Ring, perhaps this book WANTS to be found by me. I took the book back to our room, pleased to have the company of an old friend. I then registered it on www.bookcrossing.com and "released" it once more in the hostel. I hope now that I will be able to track the book for ever.

Anne poo-poos my One Book To Rule Them All idea, preferring to suggest that this coincidence proves the existence of God. "Maybe there's a higher force at work?" she put to me in a mysterious voice. I started thinking. Yes, maybe. Perhaps this silver-haired comedian has a hidden agenda? Could Nicholas Parsons be God? Or at least A God? His surname has religious connotations. Perhaps this God respects prayers that last one minute exactly, and do not feature repetition, hesitation or deviation? Maybe Anglia TV's Sale Of The Century was Parson's pulpit, from which he tried to convert the masses (of Norfolk) to the gospel of white goods and a small car?

Anne is sitting next to me and just said, "I think you've gone far enough now?"

It's worth thinking about though, isn't it?

Quiz night again!

Regular readers will know Anne and I were regulars at our "local" pub quiz in Sydney when we were living there (Feb to May). We won most weeks, though the turnout wasn't always strong, so sometimes we won almost by default. It helped that there were lots of movie questions and few sports ones. We've found no trivia nights on our travels. This is disappointing, since we were hoping to supplement our budget with prizes.

Imagine our joy then when on Tuesday evening, after a day exploring Melbourne, calming down, and remembering why we hate driving in cities, we found there was a quiz night near our hostel that night. A guy from the pub came to the hostel to publicise the quiz by handing out free beer vouchers. Yay!

I was a bit concerned that it was going to be a big "backpackers'" night - our quiz in Sydney was mainly with locals, and that made it more interesting. It was a backpackers' night, mainly, but Anne and I were sat near locals and got chatting to them. We got a few tips on things to do and see in Melbourne.

The place was packed, so Anne and I didn't fancy our chances. At the end of round one though we were joint fifth (with about four other teams) so at least we were placed. There were lots of sports questions (mainly Aussie Rules) so we were a bit useless.

During the interval the quiz-master asked for some volunteers to win some beer. I pushed Anne up, assuming it would be trivia-related. It wasn't. It was a horrible, "hilarious" game where the girls have a bike-pump between their legs and the men have to use their knees to pump up a balloon. The "hilarious" thing is that it looks a bit like they're "humping", even though they're fully clothed. Sigh. As soon as I realised I felt very sorry for Anne. She took it all in her stride and laughed in the right places, but it really isn't her. (After all, she's not 15.)

Each team had to supply a two line joke with each round. I never remember jokes, so it was up to Anne. In the first round she put down a joke she thinks is great:

Q: What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
A: One's weasel-ly recognisable, the other's stoat-aly different.

When the jokes were read out ours was booed and groaned at and the quiz guy threatened to take a point off. I suggested we target the next joke at the level of the audience, so she tried:

Q: Why are men like toilets?
A: They're either vacant, engaged or full of s**t.

Obviously that one brought down the house. Oh dear, what a shame.

Anyway, we came second in the quiz and won some beers and a bottle of wine! Yay! The weird thing is, despite not knowing anything about Aussie-rules we largely won because I guessed what the collective noun for unicorns is! We got 5 points for that. Brilliant.

I also knew what year David Copperfield was born in, having read it in the paper that day (the magician, not the Dickens character), and Anne knew that about 10% of Japanese boys lock themselves in their rooms the whole time to play computer games.

(I'm not going to tell you what the collective noun for unicorns is. You'll have to find that out for yourselves.)

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Welcome to Melbourne, you loud, arguing monkeys

We left Geelong early on Tuesday morning to drive to Melbourne. We had to return the hire car by 10.15am else pay another day's rental. The race was on. The stress started as we left Geelong and realised we'd need to get some more petrol soon. We had to leave the tank as empty as possible when we returned the car in order to get the maximum value from the hire. That's a bit of a logistical problem, judging just how much to put in.

A U-turn later, we had $5 of petrol, and made our way to the big(ger) smoke. Anne was navigating using a small map in the Lonely Planet. She hates navigating, especially in cities as I get very annoyed at any mistakes and end up shouting. Oh dear.

The first problem came as we left the freeway at Melbourne and started heading AWAY from the city. This, I surmised, was all Anne's fault and should have been avoided. Poor Anne. Eventually, thanks to me and only me, we were heading in the right direction and she only made a few small mistakes after that. Near 10am I parked outside the Hertz office (on a busy street, half-blocking a side-turning, and generally in the way of traffic) and sent Anne in to find out where I park the car. TEN MINUTES later I went in to see what had become of her and found her queuing patiently behind other customers! I only wanted to know where to put the car!! I asked the lady and she told me, then I dragged Anne back to the car telling her how terrible she is and how great I am. We walked (laden with backpacks) to the hostel in a bitter, angry silence.

Not a good start to Melbourne. Fortunately, that night would prove to be better...

(Ooh - a cliffhanger!)

I put the 'P' in there on purpose

We saw two movies on video in the hostel in Adelaide. The first Lost in La Mancha, a documentary on the making of Terry Gilliam's The Man Who Killed Don Quixote. Rather, the un-making, since the film was never made due to various disasters. I think the documentary was by the same folks who made The Hampster Factor, the documentary on the making of Gilliam's Twelve Monkeys. It was very interesting, though not worth a trip to the flicks, I'd say. At the end of the day the factor that really stopped the film was the illness of the leading man, so floods and other problems, whilst entertaining, were secondary. Still, a good "doco" (Aussie-ism) for anyone interested in film-making. Three and a half stars.

Bad Eggs is an Aussie comedy with much the same cast as Crackerjack (which we saw in Sydney). It was pretty funny in places, though a little ridiculous. Three stars.

At Port Campbell we watched Rules of Engagement on network TV. WIth the excessive ads it took nearly three hours, and wasn't very good. Tommy Lee Jones and Samuel L Jackson were fairly entertaining, but the film just had too many annoyances. Two stars.

More photos!
Finally I've found somewhere that will let me upload photos. New photos in Big Adventure 3 & 4. Link to left.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

The Great Ocean Road - Day Two

Following Anne's bath at The Jail we left Mount Gambier in the rain - grrr. Day one was "poo with wee mixed in" we decided, and we hope that day two would be a bit better. Much depended on the weather.

We left South Australia (after less than a week there) and entered Victoria. We stopped at a few towns along the Great Ocean Road, and had lunch at Port Fairy. As we were saddend by the rain we had a hot meat pie there, sitting in the car. I discovered that I hadn't extended the car radio aerial fully, and we found that we could get one or two radio stations - rejoice! That said, the quality of the radio here isn't high (I'm referring to the DJs' talent, rather than the transmission quality - which is also poor).

From Port Fairy, it was on to Port Campbell, where we'd booked a room at the hostel. As we approached, the skies cleared and the sun came out. We got to see a few really good views along the coast - hooray! Day two turned out to be just mediocre, rather than "poo with wee mixed in". Port Campbell is really quite pleasant, with some great scenery. However, by the time we got there the weather had changed again and we got into the hostel just before the heavens opened. We sat in front of the hostel TV all night, listening to the wind and rain. The wind and rain also disturbed our sleep that night. We hoped Monday would prove to be better.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

She was a cop, we were in fits. Can I make it any more obvious?

Stephen here. Every now and then I see something and think, "When I write my screenplay/novel, THAT'S going in it!" This happened to me today.

It was a bloody rainy day, so Anne's and my plans to have a good long walk around Adelaide were scuppered. We went to The South Australian Museum to look at the exhibits and despair of the school children and went to a few other free places that were inside (that was important - they had to be inside).

As we wandered back to the hostel for lunch, via the Rundle Street Mall (a shopping area), we heard the song "Skater Boy" (sorry, "Sk8ter Boi") being sung up ahead. Anne said, "I'll bet you that's not Avril Lavigne". I concurred. We couldn't have guessed what we'd see when we approached.

We found a band made up of police men and women, playing instruments (mainly trumpets) and a diminutive policelady singing. All were in uniform and the little lady was jumping around like the tiny Canadian racoon-faced manufactured pop star herself. It was The Victorian Police Showband, apparently (search for them on Google - they exist!) A hilarious sight - the choice of song made it a really odd experience. The singer was really going for it, with hand movements and all. I wouldn't have been surprised if she later jumped on a car to continue her singing.

I really can't stress enough how funny this was.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

And the orcs went there, and the elves went there...

I finished The Fellowship of the Ring (thanks Simon!) on the train. I tried to read The Lord of the Ring when I was a kid but failed, and still had "issues" with all the dull padding in the first book (I skipped through most of the songs, not knowing the tunes). I've been told the trilogy (it's not actually a trilogy - yawn) is really good as a whole, so thought I'd give it a go while I have the time. I enjoyed the first book (first two books actually - yawn) and it really made me appreciate what a fine adaptation the first movie was. Peter Jackson et al did a great job of removing the dead-wood and keeping the essence of the book. Perhaps a novelisation based on the screenplay would be a better read? (That is a joke.)

I've just started Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation. So far it's a good read, though some of the "revelations" are hardly shocking to anyone who understands that advertising's purpose is to make people buy products, rather than to perform a public service. Schlosser seems to think it sinister that McDonalds and co "target" unsuspecting customers. A minor quibble though - other, proper revelations are genuinely disturbing. I'm looking forward to the rest of the book.

All a-bored?

Phew - well we've come out of our 39 rail journey from Perth, across the Nullarbor Plain to Adelaide, and without too much lasting damage, neither.

I'd been dreading this journey, and have been loudly complaining to all who'll listen that Anne has forced my hand on the issue of going by train. She thought it would be "romantic". I disagreed. I thought it would be horrible and crowded. We couldn't afford a cabin, so would be in a normal train carriage for the journey - yikes. Plus some Lancashire half-wit in Freo told us it was a horrible journey and there'd be kids running up and down the aisle the whole time.

As it was it wasn't bad. The seats were comfy and there was lots of legroom, plus the "Red Kangaroo daynighter carriages" were more than half empty so we had four seats to ourselves (two sets of two facing each other). We managed to sleep better than we'd expected and the view of the Nullarbor (no trees - Latin fans) was good. We left Perth on Sunday morning, arrived in gold mine town Kalgoorlie at about 10pm. Anne and I had a walk around there for half an hour and then reboarded and put our pyjamas on (not really). The train left Kalgoorlie just before 2am, but we were sleeping. I awoke on Monday morning to a spectacular view of the Nullarbor. I was dead impressed and nearly woke Anne up to show her, before realising that would be bad, since we'd be seeing these views for the whole day!

Before lunch we stopped on Cook - a tiny town (population of 2) that's there just to service the Indian Pacific Railway. It used to be a proper town with a hospital and school, but that was before railway privatisation. We hopped off there for some photos and felt glad we weren't in the posh "Gold Kangaroo" cabins. This wasn't just because it would have costed 10 times what we paid, it was also because all the passengers there we bumbling old couple who would have just got in our way a lot! (I'm kidding - we'd have been locked up antisocially in our posh cabin the whole time.)

There was "video entertainment" but this mainly consisted of weird, rubbish films from the seventies and eighties. The choices were baffling - Bill Cosby's Leonard, Part 6 anyone?? We did watch some of Philadelphia, but since we didn't see it all and some important parts were ruined by announcements I'm not able to give a star rating. Mainly I read and listened to music and comedy on my CD player.

We awoke on Tuesday just before the train pulled into the station at Adelaide, on time, at 7.20am. What timing!

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Born to be mild

(To the tune of Steppenwolf's "Born to be Wild". Obviously.)

Get your hire-car runnin'
Head south on the highway
Lookin' for a hostel
And any freebies that come our way
Yeah darlin' gonna check the map an'
Take the road at a gently pace
Take all your iced buns at once
And shove them in your face

To nerdy to be wild
We were born, born to be mild
We could climb so high
But only if we judge it to be safe

Born to be mild


This is an apt anthem for Anne and me on the road, I'd say. We've really enjoyed having a hire car for a couple of weeks as it gave us much more freedom than the Greyhound bus. Even if some of the things we went to see were closed. The nice thing was it was low season, meaning quiet hostels - yay!

We left the good Stirling Range Retreat at the crack of dawn (9.30am) on Friday, and drove up towards Perth. We were looking for a nice town in which to stay the night, before returning the car to Perth on Saturday. We drove through a few towns with not a lot in them, though many made some effort to attract tourists: "There's plenty to keep the traveller happy here, with ample parking and a modern toilet block." Priceless. One town (Wagin) had a giant fibreglass ram outside the tourist centre and billed that as an attraction. Er, yes.

After a picnic lunch in an unpleasant park Narrogin, next to a stagnant river, we carried on up to York (just north of Beverly - they like to cling to ol' England here). We looked at the hostel there (Kookaburra's) and found it to be very welcoming. We checked in and had the place to ourselves the whole night! York has a nice high street, and a timber furniture shop at which Anne could have spent several lotty wins. We had chilli for tea (yum!) and watched British TV (My Family, NCS Manhunt and Spooks!) It was like we had a big house all to ourselves. Which we did.

The hostel provided a free breakfast, including fruit, cereal, fruit juice, bread and eggs! I whipped up some scrambled eggs, we stuffed our faces, and then we drove to Perth and dropped off the car. Thankfully the car hire place didn't notice a small dent I'd put in the car. Yay!

We're doing chores in Perth in preparation for tomorrow. Tomorrow morning we catch a train from Perth to Adelaide. This will be a 39 hour journey and we don't have a cabin. We just have seats. I am dreading this. Anne thinks it will be romantic. I can't see much romantic about sitting in one seat for 39 hours with kids running up and down the aisles. The leaflet says there is video entertainment, but the photo on the leaflet shows a happy traveller with a guitar standing in front of the TV. I hate people with guitars who inflict their "talents" on other travellers. Gits.

Anyway, before this nightmare we're meeting up with yet another former member of The Economist's staff (Noreen) and are going to ex-Economist Lisa's birthday party! How cool to be going to a party at someone's house after so much hostel-living. Anne's had her hair cut v. short in preparation and looks like a boy. (Actually she looks nice. She looks like a nice boy.)

Albany addendum

Also in Albany I ate an iced bun that was bigger than my face and only cost 20p! Yay!

And I saw a very funny thing at The Patrick Taylor Cottage Museum: the elderly lady at the entrance who took our money (for entrance - she didn't rob us) was sitting spinning yarn at an old fashioned spinning wheel, singing "Stayin' Alive" along with the radio. An amusing sight.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Fun at The "Albany 3"

We went to the "Albany 3" cinema last night and watched the remake of The Italian Job. A lot of people are very wary about this remake, but I've only seen the original once, years ago and didn't have many preconceptions. I'd read some reviews, most of which were positive, so thought we'd give it a go.

The cast was good, though Charlize Theron is too pretty to be believable as an actress (I'd only ever find her believable if she played an actress or a model) and the usually great Ed Norton didn't have a lot to do in the film so he just over-acted. Seth Green played his usualy character (still fairly amusing).

The film's quite entertaining, and the heists are jolly. Reviews had said it was a classy heist movie, and I think this added to my disappointment, as when I heard that I thought: Ocean's Eleven and it was nearly as classy and fun as that.

The worst bit was when Mark Whalburg (sp?), in a Audrey-Hepburn-as-Eliza-Doolittle-"cockney"-accent said (at a completely inapproprate moment) "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off , awwwwwwww". Of coure, that didn't happen.

Three stars.

Something rotten in the state of Denmark's YHA

Stephen here. On Sunday we left Walpole and drove to Denmark, a small town between Walpole and Augusta. On the way though, we had some things to see, and we were much more successful than on Saturday.

First, soon after leaving Walpole, we went to see the giant Tingle Tree. This is a famously large Red Tingle tree. We parked and walked along the path to the tree. The forest was nice and peaceful. We're chuffed to be back in the land of trees and forests after the desolate north of Western Australia. The "giant" tree itself turned out not to be very big at all. It certainly wasn't very tall. Its girth was large, though the base was hollow (tourists-past used to get photos of their cars parked in its base). You do get the impression that Aussies advertise these tourist attractions and over-hype them because there isn't much to see. That's not true - there are lots of great things to see in Australia, but the place is so large that the real sights are far between.

The next detour was much better - a tree top walk around a giant forest. This tree top walk was mention in Bill Bryson's "Down Under" and Anne and I were keen to go. It was great! The walk rises (without any climbing!) to 40 metres above the ground and you can see the tops of smaller trees and can see all over the forest. The walkway swings a bit and Anne was a bit wary at times, but we loved it. It was so peaceful (there weren't many people around) and nice (Anne is on a drive to remove that word from our vocabularies, so I put it in there to rile her).

Next, on to Denmark. We checked in to the YHA which smells of dog. During our cottaging trips in the UK we've learnt to avoid places that say "Pets Welcome" since that means "Stinks of stinky dogs". Yuck.

The hostel's run by a new-agey couple. The odd music (from before 7am!) and the chanting was a bit much for me. I'm sure Anne loved it. We managed to get over the smell of the dog since Flint - the aging Labrador) was just adorable. The only other guest there was an odd man who wouldn't do his washing up and just sat in front of the TV all day. That's one problem with hostels - you do occasionally get odd vagrants there. Gosh - I'm a big intolerant snob.

Denmark itself was nice (there it is again) and we went for a medium length walk along the river before going to the local museum. The volunteer there was an old man from Ealing! We talked about Ealing for a bit and he caught up on the gossip (Bentalls has changed to Beales!) and then we looked around the museum.

Back to the smelly YHA for the evening, and you can imaging my joy when the strange man hogging the TV went to go to buy some food at 6pm, just in time for me to watch the Sunday repeat of The Movie Show - a fantastic movie review show on SBS. Joy on joys!

Weather was a bit dull in Denmark. Monday's the first day of spring though - perhaps the weather will improve? (I write this on Wednesday, in full knowledge that the weather has been glorious the last three days.)