Things my girlfriend and I have argued about in McDonalds

Well Anne's beaten me to the McRow story (see below), so let me give you my side. First, it goes without saying that I was in the right. I won't bore you with details but if we can take that as a given and move on that'd be good. Right.

I waited outside McDonalds for Anne to return. I figured she'd calm down and realise I was great, but it didn't seem to happen. After two hours I gave up and decided to go to the ferry port. I then realised I'd been waiting next to a lap-dancing club and was tempted to go in there for a few hours just to annoy Anne. I resisted (probably because I was too scared to go in) and then thought about going to see "The Gangs of New York" at the cinema. "That's three hours long", I thought, "She'll be really worried about me!" Resisted that too.

I tried to phone Anne, and needed change. I went to a sweet shop to break a note. I was tempted to get crispy M&Ms because I know Anne hates those, but then I thought that a better way to get back at her was to get chocolate M&Ms, which she likes, and then eat them all myself. Ahahahahaha - I win!

Really, the depths of my pettyness have yet to be determined.

I returned home to find my ladies, Anne and Shae, necking wine and discussing men. This was unfortunate, since Shae idolises me and will probably now (mistakenly) think I have a flaw or two. It's Shae I feel sorry for in all this.